I know it's been a long time since I've really blogged, but I'm doing so, so much better than I was. Sometimes I need to do things other than blog. I've been back in therapy for six months now. I've been moved out for almost 5 years. I saw three different counselors in Colorado - … Continue reading This is a story about the unexpected.
"i am still learning that i am allowed to be human out here inside it was not allowed those things made a bad thing happen so i still feel that. any tiny mistake... " ~ anonymous friend Obsessive guilt is not a thing. It is no longer my religion. But for many years, it … Continue reading Outside the Box: Recovering from obsessive guilt
Continued from Part 2 Content note: self-harm In a group session summer before last with my counselor and my parents, my mom mentioned the time my sister asked her why I was so logical and scientific when one of our dogs was being euthanized in his old age. "How could Eleanor be so cold?" she'd … Continue reading Emotional Hypothermia, Part 3: The Angry Monster
I lie here lifeless In this cocoon Shedding my skin cause I'm ready to I wanna break out I found a way out I don't believe that it's gotta be this way The worst is the waiting In this womb I'm suffocating Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen I take you … Continue reading Emotional Hypothermia, Part 1: The heart is deceitful
Once upon a time, a little girl sat in a field releasing the fuzz from seeded dandelions and watching the wind gather the wisps into the sky as it tousled her hair. Sometimes, she danced with the wind, her blue skirt swishing to synchronize with its rhythm. One day the whimsy of her dance led … Continue reading The Herdsman, the Maiden and the Coyotes: A Fable