We want to help one of our friends reach stability three years after he left an abusive ex-partner with a newborn.
In the next month, he needs to relocate to gain better access health care and manage several chronic conditions that often go along with hypermobile Ehler-Danlos Syndrome, which causes frequent spinal and joint dislocation.
Some of the other health issues he faces are Postural-Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and a potential autoimmune disorder that his doctors are still working to diagnose.
This is the same friend we fundraised for to cover sales tax and title fees when I gave them my old car in 2019. That was before he started his transition journey.
Rian is a survivor of many difficult circumstances, including being a survivor of abusive homeschooling.
His fundamentalist foster mom unenrolled him from the public high school in rural North Texas to “homeschool” him during his junior year. Like so many others, Rian never received any homeschool education after withdrawing from school. Instead, he was expected to work long hours at a Christian hotel and conference center and get ready for marriage and childbearing, while his foster mom kept most of his wages.
FIND OUT MORE: Information from CRHE on Homeschooling & Educational Neglect
His foster mom was obsessed with fundamentalist cult theology centered on apocalyptic prophecy. She told him, “Why finish high school when the world will end in the next two years anyway?” He ran away at 17, unfortunately with other people who would take advantage of him. Their actions have also been reported to authorities as human trafficking and exploitation of a runaway minor.
We later learned his foster mom had a criminal background which should have barred her from fostering vulnerable teens. With the help of supportive friends, Rian reported her to law enforcement for labor trafficking the minors under her care.
Despite all of these obstacles, Rian graduated in spring 2020 and is working to enroll in college using some programs that would help him to graduate with minimal student loan debt.
Rian has overcome so many difficulties. However, chronic health issues left unchecked due to medical neglect add challenges to parenting his adorable toddler.
Moving to a community where he has support and a safe place to stay with better access to specialty medical care would help so much.
Here’s how we hope this fundraiser will help. Keep reading to find out more about Rian.
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First fundraiser goal
Gas money + food for moving: $500
Truck repairs / maintenance + registration fees in another state: $1500
Eliminate fraudulent debt caused by his ex-partner’s identity theft: $3,000
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Some friends offered a safe place to stay while he sorts through all these issues.
Thank you for reading.
We know everyone is going through incredibly hard times right now between the COVID-19 pandemic, natural disasters and economic difficulties.
If you cannot donate, please share this story.
For anyone who wants to donate directly:
PayPal: Here’s my PayPal info
FUNDRAISER: Help this single parent + toddler move to a better community
More about Rian’s story:
Since age 17, Rian supported himself after a difficult childhood and then became a single dad to a sweet little boy at 18 years old. He made the best choice for himself and his child in early 2019, escaping his ex-partner.
His ex also did not support his transition journey. He was finally able to start testosterone after leaving her.
At first, he struggled to make it on his own, and had to stay in a youth shelter while finishing high school through a hybrid online program, finishing two years of coursework in a semester and a half. He graduated in spring 2020 and is working to enroll in college using some programs that would help him to graduate with minimal student loan debt.
Just like so many people living through economic difficulties right now, even when he was able to find full-time employment and affordable rent at a low-income apartment, he was still living paycheck-to-paycheck with almost nothing left over for emergencies like car repairs.
Relocating out-of-state would mean more job opportunities, access to health care, and a supportive community to help raise his toddler.
But being able to rent using his credit has been almost impossible due to debt caused by his ex-partner. Now he is trying to work with the debt collectors to prove some of the charges were identity theft and pay off the rest of the debt so that he can continue on a more stable, sustainable path.
At the time, he was young and believed he was in love with his ex-partner. He trusted them so deeply that he did not see that he was being manipulated and used. He thought he was taking care of the people he loved by renting an apartment for the other roommates to live in, but they bailed and did not pay rent, and his partner decided they didn’t want to work.
He also lost his entire college savings account and the SUV his family planned to give him as a high school graduation present due to his ex-partner’s financial abuse.
Losing the apartment they lived in only a few days after his child was born left $4,347 on his credit. He paid off some of it himself, but the debt still stands at $3,747.
We are trying to raise $3,000 to see if the collection company will accept one large payment and call it even.
We want Rian and his child to eventually be able to live independently in a stable environment. This is especially important when you are raising a child to be able to keep them safe and healthy.
Some details in this story are intentionally vague for the protection of Rian and his child. Thank you for your understanding.
Photo Credit: Megan McKinzey Photography