A goodbye letter to the Homeschoolers Anonymous community

I left the Homeschoolers Anonymous support group, and here’s why in my last post to everyone. 

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Just wanted to say you guys have been very helpful in my healing in the four years that I’ve (mostly) been in this group.

Thank you for helping and supporting me through my triggers, my nightmares while I learned how to work through my c-PTSD. Thank you for supporting me towards getting an autism diagnosis from a professional.

This meant so much to me.

I was reading a post by another ex-fundie who said that support groups are often transition spaces. We need so much to be validated when we first get out, to have other people to feel our anger with and to be allowed to have all of our emotions.

This group helped me so, so much with that.

But now I’ve gotten a lot better through years of therapy and the waves of intense emotions come less often now. And I’ve stepped on some toes of other people in this group because I say things that are uncomfortable and I’m still somewhat hyper-vigilant and watch my back, waiting to see if people who have hurt me are going to hurt me more. I know not everyone is comfortable with that part of me because they feel it violates the abusive person’s boundaries.

I don’t completely agree (sometimes I don’t know of any other way to protect yourself), but I can respect this viewpoint. But I understand that these people don’t feel safe around me any longer, and I think those people + even the people who have hurt me need this community more than I do, so I’m going to withdraw to give them space so they can feel safe again.

I’m sorry that I hurt people in this process. I didn’t mean to cause harm, but I know intent isn’t magic. It’s probably better that I just don’t share space with those people so everyone’s boundaries can be right again.

Feel free to email or send friend requests if you’d like to keep in touch. Keep on being yourselves and being awesome and helping people. Bye. ❤

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